• The Gonzo High Octane Edible

    The plan was simple: dinner and a hike, right?

    One could say a deep conversation was the main culprit to our trouble. Yappin' away about the universe and life– you'd think we would keep track of time but time kept track of us and then when it got dark...we lost the track. Our lack of panic was quite alarming yet strangely comforting, we were calm and collected. "It's not our time to die, we'll be fine", I threw it out there. Our instincts kicked into overdrive and we began to forge our way back home in complete darkness. Out of the woods and onto a dark pavement that stretched for miles. Blind but left with 4 other senses to guide us. A long route ahead of us with an occasional car passing by– we didn't waste any opportunity to use their headlights for a guide. By chance a car revealed a hidden road sign to us. 

    "WARNING: Now entering bear Country"...well that's just dandy. Nocturnal adventure with the possibility of wild unpredictable and not so cute fuzzy bears. Two things could happen right now: panic or action. So we sprint forward in the opposite direction. Maybe we jinxed ourselves by dissecting and laughing at Jimmy's cryptic letter. Jimmy wrote me fan mail, random guy– the type you meet and they cling. What woman doesn't love a fucked up letter from a random older guy– especially with endearing lines like "Didja get my card last week? Didja, Didja, Didja?".

    Yes, I did Jimmy and I've had many friends read it to help me make sense of it too. Jessi was the first one to tell me ..."Don't reply". By now I was imagining that he had a voodoo doll of me and was inserting pins into my body while cursing my name. "Didja feel that, Didja, Didja?" Yeah, maybe I did.

    We kept our focus. Jessi brandished her knife and I manned a sizable rock in my right fist. We discussed our plan of action in case a creep or a bear pounced us. "I'll pound it on the head with the rock and you can slit its throat". The sudden smell of fruity skunk quickly alerts my consciousness that I'm also carrying precious pot as well. Jessi reminds us of how ridiculous we must look.... knives, rocks & pot lurking in the darkness like two feral creatures. Suddenly we're the predators not the bears or the creeps. Feeling like two teenage girls who do what they want and find trouble for fun.

    There is a long road ahead of us and we have no water. I am trying to occupy our minds with a practical conversation like "If we were stranded in the woods for a couple days and...". I asked Jessi if she'd gut a deer if I knocked it out with a rock. I don't do guts I told her. "Hell yeah, I'll gut a deer", she said. I proceeded to discuss how we'd cook it over the fire and bring the rest of it with us along for later. Another car passes by and we're getting closer to city lights. Our legs are tested as we jog up hill here and there just to speed the whole distance of the journey up. Where is the fear? We have none, just two girls on a mission.
    Written by: Marta Anna Teresa Podkul

    The Gonzo High Octane Edible

    This edible was inspired after getting lost in a national park with Marta at night and had to find a way out in the pitch dark in bear country. We were both inspired that night after an intense journey filled with many revelations. She wrote the above story with just a tiny taste of Gonzo journalistic style and I decided to create a powerful energetic edible that would match the Gonzo allure.

    This edible is designed for people who want a huge burst of energy, sustained energy from a Sativa, and who don't worry about carbohydrates. This is an energy bar that will deliver a high powered energetic body high for situations that are physically demanding. Enjoy!

    *Warning: This edible is not designed for terminally ill people, people with cancer, diabetes or any other severe diseases that would not benefit from a high glycemic load. It is specifically designed for healthy active people who are in need of an energy burst in such activities as running, hiking, trail running, kickboxing, ect. Because of the high amount of natural sugar in this edible it is recommended not to over indulge. Use this edible only as a natural sports enhancer for specific physically demanding situations that you may be in.

    Mise en place:

    2 cups organic rolled oats
    1 packet organic strawberries and cream instant oatmeal
    1/2 cup cannabutter with 9 grams of 100% Sativa of your choice
    1/2 cup organic peanut butter
    1/2 cup organic dried cherries
    1/2 sweetened condensed milk
    1/4 cup organic honey
    1/4 cup organic flax seeds
    1/4 cup organic chocolate chips
    1/4 cup organic coconut flakes
    1/4 cup organic skim milk
    2 teaspoons vanilla
    1/4 teaspoon salt


    Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. In a pan add the condensed milk, skin milk, honey, peanut butter, and cannabutter then put on low. Stir until combined which is about 2 minutes. Add the oats/oatmeal, cherries, flax seeds, vanilla extract, and salt. Stir till combined which is about 2 minutes.

    Take the pan off the stove. Then pour this mixture into a small greased sheet pan. Level the oatmeal mixture out and sprinkle crushed coconut flakes on top. Put into your preheated oven and bake for 10 minutes. Then turn your oven down to 300 degrees and bake for 5 minutes. Pull from the oven. When the pan is no longer hot to touch, melt the chocolate chips and drizzle it over the energy bards. Then place the sheet pan in the fridge to cool for 1 hour and to set. Pull from the fridge and cut into 9 trail sized energy bars. Store any energy bars you are not using in the fridge.

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